Every time anyone ever presents any problem or complaint to me, whether client or friend, it all comes down to this one statement really: “I don’t want to feel this!” It’s that simple. Once I started to really get this, it’s been easier to be present to someone else’s experience without trying to fix or solve anything for them. It’s also been easier to be more present to my own issues. In this video I share my experience with feeling things I don’t want to feel, and how it’s changed, and continues to change my life.
In this video I share how I often deal with my triggers. I call it my “Wear It Out” technique. It’s all about being bluntly honest with yourself and then consciously wearing your thoughts and feelings out until they just don’t have a hold on you anymore.
I made this video just after working with a client. At one point during our session the client flippantly said “I know I am just doing this to myself.” He was referring to the thoughts he kept thinking and the suffering that came with them. I asked him point blank, “Are you? Are you really doing this to you, or is it just happening?” This exchange prompted me to make this video.
I am passionate about these topics because I see there is a haze over this healing business that can be quite aggressive towards ourselves. There is this assumption that responsibility means that we are also at fault somehow for the content that comes through our awareness. Our thoughts are our responsibility. Our memories. Our feelings.
Are they our responsibility? Are we doing all this to ourselves or are all these opportunities showing up to be seen and felt and no longer denied? They keep showing up until we finally see them for what they truly are. Feelings, thoughts, images denied and judged. When we finally see them, feel them and give them time and space to have their full life cycle in our awareness, they have a chance to resolve and integrate. In this way, triggers are a given for life. And thank goodness for that. We are always shown what we haven’t yet really seen for what they truly are. Just yesterday Scott Kiloby posted something on his Facebook page that sums all this up quite well: “My job is only to be aware of things that have been previously unconscious. Grace does the rest.”