Yesterday afternoon when I walked into work, my co-worker exclaimed with her arms thrown in the air “Marina is here! My day just got 10x better!” Now THAT was THE way to greet me and make me feel completely and utterly appreciated just for my existence.
Most days, I am not celebrated like that but I show up, day-to-day, not even thinking about the need to be seen. Then there are days, like the day before this happened where I feel like I would really like to be seen more when I’m not. Sometimes I ask for the attention I need. It’s simple. “Look at this or that! Or look at me, my new haircut, my specials skill or listen to my story!”
Other days, like two days ago, I stay with that part of myself that WANTS that so much. I listen to her. I feel her pain with her. I don’t ask for it to be solved from others. I just listen to that part within me. She eventually loses interest in the matter as I go along with my day… then something like yesterday happens out of the blue, and people greet me like I am MAGIC.
By just hearing and being with my own inner turmoil about being seen or not seen (however subtle) had such a sweet reward.
I get this proven to me time and time again in my experience: When I don’t seek something to fulfill me from outside of me anymore, it finds me, it surprises and delights me. In this case, when I surrendered to the willingness to be invisible, I was seen and celebrated in an even better way I wouldn’t even have known to ask for when I wanted it.
Such a paradox that when I am willing to “suffer” about anything, I usually don’t have to for long and what I wanted often shows up in my experience very quickly. This has been correct for me EVERY time I’ve applied this “rule” in my life. Willingness. No agenda. Just willingness. There is something magical about it. I’ll keep exploring it and report back periodically.